I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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