You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
