used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
