Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
