Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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