I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Text me some of your sweat
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