You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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