I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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