So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
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Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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