I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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