Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
