my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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