Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
