He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
