"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
