I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
