We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Ladies don't puke and tell
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
