did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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