Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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