Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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