I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.