We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
