walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
3pm strippers are depressing
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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