Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
