I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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