So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
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Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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