Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
