True but thats because hes a fetus.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
