So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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