Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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