my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
