I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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