dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
third nipple confirmed
Randomize
