escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
