"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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