After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I hate all girls vehemently.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
