GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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