Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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