I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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