I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
