Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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