Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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