Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dating After Heartbreak
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless