This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?