I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion