i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.