cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
