My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the day after is always just damage control
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I have fence marks all over my body
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
