she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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