she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
