i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Sext me about skeletons
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.