Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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