Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
