what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
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do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
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Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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