Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
