After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
