i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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