Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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