Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
