He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
