So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
