I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
