I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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