all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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