Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
